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drowning in a sea of blue...

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reminscing... [Apr. 2nd, 2004|07:33 pm]
drowning in a sea of blue...
[mood |nostalgicnostalgic]
[music |what if - babyface]

i went to ateneo to have my slot confirmed this afternoon. it went kinda breezy actually. i didn't expect things to be done that fast. i went to the office of admission and aid to submit my documents, got my instructions sheet and then headed to the cashier. i even bumped into welo! she asked me what course i was gonna take. i told her that i applied for psych, and then she said that comm (her course) and psych people are cool (lucky me!). after that, i went back to the oaa to get my confirmation kit. the last step of the whole procedure was the picture-taking for the id at the office of the associate dean for student affairs. everything was done in less than an hour.

today's been a really fun day for me. i actually got the feel of walking around the campus as if i were already a bonafide student of ateneo. i had mixed feelings of nervousness and excitement. for the first time in the 16 years of my existence, i'm going to step into a new territory, very much different from bene, which i have learned to call my second home. wow.

i also got the chance to text with someone quite special to me today. it's been a while since mike and i have been able to have a good talk. after grad ball night, i felt compelled to reconnect with him (in a platonic context). a sudden rush of nostalgia won me over, when we started talking about what was, like his favorite things... #14... mitsui... the corrs... it's funny how i could actually still remember almost everything, considering that it has been more than 2 years since we called it quits. i know that i'm going to miss him when we go our separate ways in college. i won't be seeing much of him anytime soon, and the idea is really foreign to me. i've grown accustomed to bumping into him all the time in school whether in the halls or near the canteen. i just hope everything works out well for him.

i was browsing through my folders when i found a file, a journal entry actually, that i had written in december 2001. it's actually about my very romantic christmas vacation that year with you-know-who. i couldn't help but smile as i was reading it. i felt as if everything that i had written was actually happening all over again. first love never dies? well, i'm not sure about that. all i know is that he will always have a special place in my heart no matter what happens.
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it's getting hot in here [Mar. 28th, 2004|10:39 pm]
drowning in a sea of blue...
[mood |restlessrestless]
[music |come around - rhett miller]

feeling really restless today. must be the heat. i couldn't think right. i haven't even begun writing my salutation speech for tuesday yet. kurva mac.

i got myself a victim of my restlessness today. i messed with him real good. he didn't see it coming. with all the bullshit i said, his brain must be up his ass right now. how pitiful.

distribution of cards (it's about time!) and last meeting for graduation ball tomorrow morning. gotta get some sleep.
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my high school life, oh my high school life... [Mar. 26th, 2004|09:15 am]
drowning in a sea of blue...
[mood |goodgood]
[music |no stopping us - jason mraz]

our graduation day was, in a word, blah. i didn't feel even a tad emotional during the ceremony. to me, attending it was simply something i had to do, because i was supposed to. had i only been seated somewhere at the back, i would have at least enjoyed it. but, being an awardee, i had to be placed in front, where the administrators could easily see my every move. well, come to think of it, it wasn't all that bad. they placed cushioned seats for us to occupy (unlike the others who only got monoblocs). talk about sitting your ass down for almost 4 hours, no weewee breaks, and having to pretend that you're actually taking pleasure in all that. sheesh. the only part, i believe, that i was able to show the slightest hint of emotion, was when we messed up the 'one batch, one soul' song that we had practiced for almost two weeks. now, that was funny.

after that oh-so-boring-i-wish-i-could-have-just-skipped-it graduation ceremony, we went to vivere to have lunch with my best friends and their families. we spent about another 4 hours there, but that portion of the day, i really did enjoy. it's been a while since the 5 of us (karen, alex, kitine, kitel and myself) have been able to get together like that. it was also the perfect opportunity for our parents to meet each other and sit down to talk (after years of not having a clue whose mom or dad is whose).

i went home with kitine and took a really long nap at her place. we woke up at around 8, had dinner, and then i took a dip in the pool. it's been an awful long time since i last went swimming (think june of last year). my dad picked me up 3 hours after.

gosh, i miss my friends already.
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the time has come... [Mar. 25th, 2004|06:48 am]
drowning in a sea of blue...
[mood |highhigh]
[music |no such thing - john mayer]

march 25, 2004.

graduation day.

pomps and circumstance playing in the background.

my diploma.

oh GOD... THIS REALLY IS IT!
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drumroll please! [Mar. 18th, 2004|09:05 pm]
drowning in a sea of blue...
[mood |mellowmellow]
[music |a little bit - mymp]

after a week of almost non-stop 'questioning' and 'protesting' by some of our fellow seniors, the oh-so-controversial grad ball awardees poll was concluded earlier this morning. it went quite smoothly actually. i requested mrs. san jose to excuse myself, nik, allan, vicson and trish to do the counting. we insisted that our other co-seb officers, who are also nominees, be excluded, so that they would be spared from having to work so hard pretending that they have no idea who the winners are come grad ball night.

the results were pretty interesting. some were no-brainers, while some were unexpected. so who won what? i'm just gonna keep my trap zipped until the 30th.

just a few more things left to take care of with regards to the ball. can't wait!
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my heart's on the floor... [Mar. 17th, 2004|09:57 pm]
drowning in a sea of blue...
[mood |crushedcrushed]
[music |you don't know my name - alicia keys]

i feel as if my heart's been stomped on by a stampede of a thousand people... torn and crushed beyond repair. it's hard being in my shoes -- having something to say, but not having the courage to let it out, for the sake of a friend's felicity. i'm not making much sense, am i?

kits informed be that there had been changes in our meet-up plan. instead of saturday, we're gonna have it next week, tuesday. that's actually better on my part, because it just occurred to me last night that my dad's arrival from canada is scheduled on saturday evening. now that it's been moved, i can tag him and my mom along. i guess looking forward to that should distract me from the insurmountable pain i'm feeling right now.
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they just keep coming back... haunting me in my sleep... [Mar. 16th, 2004|10:15 pm]
drowning in a sea of blue...
[mood |nostalgicnostalgic]
[music |smile - tamia]

smile - tamia

sometimes i sit at home and wonder how it'd be
if he had loved me
truly loved me yes
i learned a while ago that kind of thing
never happens for me
and so i go around
and just pretend
loving life for me
i play the circus clown around my friends
make them laugh and they won't see
that you never let them see you sweat
don’t want them to think the pain runs deep
lord knows it's killing me

so i put on my make-up
put a smile on my face
and if anyone asks me
everything is okay
i’m laughing cause no one
knows the joke is on me
cause i’m dying inside
with my pride and a smile
on my face
on my face

sing it la la la la

sometimes sit at home
by the phone hoping he might call me
but he don't call me
but then I realize
dreams come true aren't for girls like me
not like me
and so i go around with my head up
like it ain't no thing
and when the boys around with all my friends
i’m into other things
because you never let them see you sweat
don’t want them to think the pain runs deep
lord knows it's killing me

so i put on my make-up
put a smile on my face
and if anyone asks me
everything is okay
i’m laughing cause no one
knows the joke is on me
cause i’m dying inside
with my pride and a smile
on my face
on my face

it’s not an easy (thing)
sometimes it’s hard to (face the truth)
it’s not the life that i would choose (that i would choose)
but what else can i do?
if he don’t love me
if he don’t want me
i’m not about to sit around
let myself go

so i put on my make-up
put a smile on my face
and if anyone asks me
everything is okay
i’m laughing cause no one
knows the joke is on me
cause i’m dying inside
with my pride and a smile
on my face
on my face

sing it la la la la
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open forum, anyone? [Mar. 15th, 2004|09:58 pm]
drowning in a sea of blue...
[mood |refreshedrefreshed]
[music |benefit of the doubt - artstrong]

today's been a truly cathartic day, not only for me, but also for my other co-senior seb officers. planning the grad ball has truly been an emotional roller coaster ride for all of us. add to that the pressure mounting due to the upcoming seb elections and the graduation practices. think headaches, misundertsandings, cramming, drama, drama and more drama.

we had quite a heated meeting during lunch time. we had to settle a lot of issues concerning the ball, from the nominations of awardees to the souvenirs. after which came our open forum. it was actually refreshing. there's nothing like a good dose of honesty from your peers.
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eastwood [Mar. 14th, 2004|08:37 pm]
drowning in a sea of blue...
[mood |draineddrained]
[music |tipsy - j-kwon]

you might be wondering what happened to kits, myself and our 'dates' in eastwood last night. well, ummm, how should i put this? uh, let's just say it wasn't how we pictured it would be.

kits and i met up in pho hoa at around 8. we sat down with a friend of tito danny's, who was having dinner with his son and his nephew. after that, we dined ourselves in something fishy, then met up with ate francine, len, let and mitch. we walked around eastwood together for a while. they even had a pic taken with the mime-slash-magician, who was in the plaza. they found it funny that i am actually freaked out by clowns (shudders). we went back to something fishy to meet up with kits' aunt and uncle. after hearing of our 'date misfortune' that night, tita anne offered to hook us up with new dates. now, we have a new meet-up set for this weekend in greenbelt! yey!

eating in something fishy made me feel really nostalgic. from the name of the place itself, to the serving dish, to the food, to the ceiling decors... nice. really nice. exactly what a girl who wants to forget someone needs to be reminded of.

we were opting to go to blue onion, but after seeing that there wasn't much people hanging out there yet, we went to basement instead. we got two 'welcome' beers, which we eventually got rid of after a few gulps (beer just isn't our thing). we even bumped into guia and her anton while walking around. the place was so packed, but the dance floor was absolutely empty. it wasn't until 'just the way you are' by milky was played that the people actually started to get their groove on. kits couldn't handle the smoke and the rowdy crowd, so we didn't stay in for long. we went to jack's loft afterwards, where i ordered an oreo cheescake and a bottle of blueberry vodka cruiser. we said our goodbyes after that. much as i wanted to go home and go to sleep, i still had to pick up pao from his 'special' friend's place in rockwell.

feeling extremely lazy today. gotta get my zzz's now.
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thank GOD it's friday [Mar. 12th, 2004|11:31 pm]
drowning in a sea of blue...
[mood |blankblank]
[music |slow jamz - twista feat kanye west and jamie foxx]

incubus concert tonight. as in right now. damn. wish i was there. i'm still a little bit tormented by the fact that i'm stuck here at home, while the concert's going on. i could stay out here all night staring tirelessly at brandon's über hot photo on my desktop, trying to imagine myself screaming my lungs out as i watch him singing. they say things happen for a reason, and i'm pretty sure that there's a good explanation for this one.

#2 and i are ok now. after months of being at odds with each other, i decided to send him a friendship quote last night. i received his reply this morning, and he was actually very much puzzled as to what pushed me to initiate our reconciliation, after all that's been said and done. it's simple, really. we shared something special once, and i just couldn't bear seeing that slip away. besides, we made a promise to each other that no matter what happens, we'd still remain best friends. i'm a man, in this case, a woman of my word, and i'm gonna keep mine.

lexie and i went to atc after our rehearsal. kitel was also supposed to go, but she backed out at the last minute. she had more important matter to attend to. anyway, i got to buy a mini skirt from topshop and blueberry body butter from body shop. spur of the moment thing. impulsive shopper. that's me.

i still couldn't make up my mind as to what i'm gonna wear tomorrow night. flats? heels? spag strap? sleeveless? skirt? pants? i'll just do the choosing tomorrow morning. as for now, i'm gonna head to bed and get myself my beauty sleep.
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